.png)
Ultimate Best Man Guide
- Peter Morgan
- Oct 13
- 18 min read
Best Man Guide - Introduction
So, you’ve been picked as the best man. Congrats, mate — it’s the ultimate compliment and the ultimate test of friendship rolled into one. You’re about to be part wingman, part event planner, part stand-up comedian, and part therapist. This isn’t just a title; it’s a full-time job… with no pay, but plenty of pressure.
Every bloke who’s ever been handed the role knows the same feeling: the mix of pride (“He chose me!”) and panic (“Oh God, I have to do a speech in front of his nan.”).
That’s where this Best Man Guide comes in. Think of it as your survival manual — a one-stop resource covering everything from fancy dress themes for stag dos to how long a best man speech should be and how to end it without bursting into tears or setting fire to the mic.
By the end, you’ll know exactly:
What the role of best man actually means.
How to plan a legendary stag do (without landing anyone in hospital or jail).
How to deliver a speech that’ll make people laugh, cry, and cheer — in that order.
And what your duties as best man in the UK really are, before, during, and after the wedding.
Table Of Contents:
This isn’t some stiff wedding manual. It’s real talk from lads who’ve done it — and survived to tell the tale. Grab a pint, settle in, and let’s sort your best man duties from start to finish.
Chapter 1. - What Does a Best Man Actually Do?
The Role of a Best Man Explained
First things first — what is a best man, really?
In simple terms, he’s the groom’s right-hand man. The best man definition might sound formal, but it’s basically this: you’re the bloke who makes sure everything runs smoothly, from the stag weekend to the final toast at the wedding.
In practice, that means:
Being the groom’s emotional support and practical problem-solver.
Planning the stag do (and making sure he actually survives it).
Keeping the wedding rings safe — no pressure there.
Delivering the speech — the moment everyone’s waiting for.
Handling random chaos: missing ushers, nervous bridesmaids, drunken uncles, etc.
In short, the role of the best man is to make the groom look good and the day feel seamless — even when it’s anything but. You’re part best friend, part logistics manager, and occasionally, part babysitter.
Duties of a Best Man in the UK
If you’re based in the UK, your responsibilities can start months before the big day. Here’s what’s typically on your plate:
Before the wedding:
Organise the stag do. This is your moment to shine (and potentially crash). From choosing activity stag weekends to stag do fancy dress themes, you’re the chief of chaos.
Help with logistics. Whether it’s trying on suits, sorting transport, or calming the groom’s mum, you’re the go-to guy.
Be a sounding board. The groom might not admit it, but he’ll need your advice — on speeches, nerves, or last-minute cold feet.
On the wedding day:
Look sharp and be early. You’re setting the tone for the lads.
Keep the groom calm. If he’s sweating through his shirt, distract him with jokes and whisky.
Guard the rings. Seriously. Put them in a safe pocket. Double-check. Then check again.
Give the speech. You’ll learn later how to nail this bit (spoiler: humour, heart, and a strong finish).
Be a host. Help guests, make introductions, and ensure everyone’s having a good time.
After the wedding:
Support the newlyweds. Help with returns, lost items, or even honeymoon send-off duties. You’re still the best man until the dust settles.
So yeah — the duties of a best man in the UK are more than just a five-minute toast. You’re basically running operations from engagement to “I do.”
Origin of the Best Man and the Stag Do
Ever wondered where all this madness began? The origin of the best man goes way back — and it’s not as noble as it sounds. In old Germanic tribes, the “best man” was literally the “best swordsman.” His job was to help the groom kidnap the bride from her village (no, really).
👉 Learn more about the origin of the best man here.
Luckily, times have changed — now you just have to survive the stag do and deliver a decent speech.
As for the origin of the stag do, that’s got ancient roots too. The Spartans used to throw banquets for the groom the night before his wedding, basically celebrating his “last night of freedom.” Fast forward a couple thousand years, and we’ve swapped swords for shots and banquets for bar crawls. Progress, right?
These traditions evolved, but the spirit remains the same: the best man’s role is to celebrate, protect, and send the groom into married life with memories (and hopefully his dignity) intact.
Why Being Best Man Matters
It’s easy to think of the job as all banter and beers, but it actually means something. You’ve been trusted with one of the biggest roles a mate can give you. You’re standing by him on the most important day of his life, representing years of friendship, loyalty, and dodgy shared stories.
So take it seriously — but don’t forget to have a laugh while you’re at it. This guide will help you walk that perfect line between heartfelt and hilarious. Up next: how to plan the perfect stag do — from activity weekends to fancy dress disasters.
Chapter 2 – Planning the Perfect Stag Do
The Basics of a Stag Do
Right then, lads — let’s talk stag dos.
The first real test of your best man duties. The moment when you swap the polite “congratulations, mate” for “how many shots do you reckon before he regrets this?”
A stag do (or bachelor party, if you’re reading this from across the pond) is the groom’s final blowout before married life. Your job as best man is to make it unforgettable — but not unrepeatable in court. There’s a fine line between epic and absolute chaos, and this Best Man Guide is here to help you stay just on the right side of it.
Before you start Googling “paintball near me” or ordering fifty matching stag party shirts, take a breath. Planning a top-tier stag do is part art, part strategy, part crisis management.
How to Plan a Stag Do That Actually Works
Step 1: Know Your Groom
Not every guy wants to wake up zip-tied to a lamppost in Blackpool wearing a tutu.
Rule number one: plan for the groom, not for yourself. If he’s more into craft beer and golf than tequila and taxis at 3 a.m., build the weekend around that.
It’s not about how wild you can get — it’s about giving your mate a send-off that feels him.
Step 2: Pick the Crew Wisely
There’s always that one mate who thinks a stag do means “drink until your body forgets how to walk.” Don’t make him the group leader.
Create a WhatsApp group, get input, and make sure everyone’s on board with the vibe. You’re not herding sheep — you’re managing adult men with the collective maturity of toddlers after three pints.
👉 Follow our complete stag do invite guide to plan the perfect send-off for your groom.
Step 3: Budget Like a Pro
Money ruins more stag dos than hangovers do. Be upfront about costs, set a realistic budget, and stick to it. Use split-payment apps, and always confirm accommodation and activities before sending deposits.
Step 4: The Golden Rule
This one’s simple: What happens on the stag stays on the stag.
Unless it’s hilarious — then maybe one photo. (Just maybe.)
Activity Stag Weekends
Bored of the classic pub crawl? Welcome to the world of activity stag weekends — where adrenaline meets hangover.
Here are a few winning ideas:
Paintball or Airsoft: A classic. Few things bond grown men faster than shooting each other in camouflage.
Go-Karting: Because every bloke secretly believes he could’ve been in Formula 1.
Escape Rooms: Perfect if your group can handle pressure and puzzles without arguments.
Surf or Paddleboard Weekend: For the outdoorsy crowd — and great Instagram shots.
Football or Golf Tournament: Low drama, high banter.
Adventure Park Weekends: Ziplining, obstacle courses, or axe throwing. Because yes, you can drink beer and throw axes responsibly. (Sort of.)
Pro tip: Always balance the action with downtime — pints, food, and recovery. A stag do isn’t a bootcamp.
👉 Not sure where to host the ultimate weekend? Check out our list of the best lads holiday destinations in Europe for epic stag do ideas.
Fancy Dress Themes for Stag Dos
Here we go — the part that separates the legends from the idiots.
Fancy dress themes can make or break a stag weekend. Get it right, and you’ll have memories (and photos) for life. Get it wrong, and you’ll spend 48 hours dressed as a Teletubby in public transport.
Top Fancy Dress Themes for Stag Dos:
Superheroes (Badly Done) – Think Poundland versions of Batman.
80s Icons – Mullet wigs, neon shorts, and moustaches galore.
Film Classics – “Top Gun”, “Anchorman”, “The Hangover” – always winners.
Tourist Trash – Socks, sandals, fake sunburn, and bum bags.
Old Men on Tour – Grey wigs, cardigans, and slippers. Comedy gold.
Police vs. Prisoners – Classic team theme.
Custom T-Shirts with In-Jokes – Always gets a laugh.
Avoid These at All Costs (Worst Stag Do Outfits):
Anything involving offensive costumes — just no.
Costumes you can’t walk, sit, or breathe in.
Anything inflatable. It will pop before the first pub.
Your stag do fancy dress theme should be fun, creative, and mildly humiliating — not a crime against public decency.
Stag Party Shirts and Stag Do Tops
You don’t need to go full costume — sometimes matching stag party shirts or stag do tops do the trick.
They’re practical, easy to pack, and they make the group look united (and easy to find when one of you inevitably wanders off).
Tips for great stag shirts:
Keep it simple — name, date, location, and a joke.
Avoid inside jokes that sound creepy to strangers.
Go for decent quality cotton — you’ll sweat.
Bonus points for giving the groom a special “Groomzilla” or “Game Over” version.
Want to level up? Add printed nicknames on the back. It makes ordering drinks easier and adds to the laughs when “Silent Steve” gets the loudest.
Dare Cards and Games
A proper stag do isn’t complete without a few dare cards or drinking challenges.
But there’s a right way to do it — you want fun, not felony.
Dare Card Ideas:
“Get a stranger to buy you a drink.”
“Propose to a random object.”
“Start a conga line in a pub.”
“Convince someone you’re famous.”
“Make a toast to the groom in every bar.”
Keep them fun, harmless, and photo-friendly. Avoid anything that’ll get you banned, punched, or dumped.
If your groom’s shy, keep it chill. If he’s up for anything — unleash the chaos. Just remember: stag do rules still apply.
Stag Do Rules: The Commandments of Chaos
Don’t Lose the Groom. Ever.
No Phones After Midnight. Protect the evidence.
Respect the Locals. You’re guests, not invaders.
Eat Something. Beer isn’t breakfast.
Keep It Legal. Sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised.
Pace Yourselves. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
No One Goes Home Alone (Unless Married). Buddy system always.
Respect the Bride. Whatever happens, don’t let it reach her ears in the wrong way.
Don’t Outshine the Groom. It’s his weekend.
Have Fun. That’s the whole point.
Follow these, and your stag weekend will be legendary — not legendary for the wrong reasons.
Final Tips for the Perfect Stag Do
Plan ahead, but stay flexible. You’ll need room for spontaneity.
Delegate tasks. The best man doesn’t need to do it all — rope in the ushers.
Keep the groom safe, happy, and hydrated. (Beer doesn’t count.)
Create a group chat and share the plan. Communication saves lives.
Bring a hangover kit. Paracetamol, water, mints, wet wipes — trust me.
At the end of the day, the perfect stag do isn’t about chaos — it’s about connection. It’s celebrating your mate’s next chapter with laughter, stupid outfits, and just enough madness to make it memorable.
👉 Check out our complete stag do invite guide for wording tips and funny examples that’ll get every mate to say yes.
So, you’ve planned the party, survived the weekend, and (hopefully) found the groom again. Next up: it’s time for the big day — and your next mission.
Chapter 3 – How to Be the Best Best Man on the Wedding Day
The Calm Before the “I Do”
You’ve survived the stag do, the hangover, and probably at least one argument with the groom’s uncle. Now comes the main event — the wedding day itself.
This is where you swap the banter for responsibility… well, mostly. You’re still allowed to crack a few jokes, but now you’ve got a serious job: making sure the groom doesn’t implode and the day runs smoother than his new in-laws’ champagne.
Remember: the duties of a best man in the UK don’t end when the drinks start flowing. The wedding day is your Super Bowl — and you’re the one calling the plays.
The Best Man’s Day-of Checklist
Before the chaos begins, here’s your ultimate best man checklist for the big day:
✅ Be early. You’re not just on time — you’re the first one there. If you’re late, the tone for the day is “panic.”
✅ Look the part. Suit, tie, boutonnière, polished shoes, no stains from last night’s curry. You’re representing the groom, not auditioning for Geordie Shore.
✅ Keep the rings safe. The number one job of the best man. Check the pocket every 15 minutes. Seriously.
✅ Keep the groom calm. Talk him down if he’s sweating through his waistcoat. Remind him why he’s marrying her — not how expensive it’s been.
✅ Coordinate the ushers. You’re their captain. Make sure they’re seating guests, helping with bags, and not disappearing for a “quick pint” five minutes before the ceremony.
✅ Be the fixer. Button missing? Drink spilled? Someone lost? You’re the man with the solutions (and the safety pins).
✅ Deliver the speech. We’ll cover that in the next chapter — but for now, know that all eyes will be on you.
✅ Party responsibly (sort of). You’re allowed to celebrate — but don’t be that guy who forgets he’s still technically on duty until the first dance.
Pre-Wedding Duties: Getting the Groom to the Altar
The hours before the ceremony are the trickiest:
The groom will act calm, but inside he’s one wrong tie knot away from fainting. That’s where you come in.
Your mission: keep him grounded.
Make sure he eats something, drinks some water (not just whisky), and has everything he needs — cufflinks, vows, and breath mints.
Help him get dressed, check his hair, and stop him from pacing like he’s about to take an exam. Light humour works wonders here — the right joke can melt the tension faster than any pep talk.
Bonus Tip: bring a small “groom survival kit” — tissues, deodorant, paracetamol, a hip flask (for emergencies only), and a printed copy of his vows. You’ll look like a hero.
During the Ceremony
Here’s the good news: this bit’s mostly about standing, smiling, and not fainting.
Still, there are a few key things the best man does at the wedding:
Hold the rings (again, seriously — don’t drop them).
Stand beside the groom. Be confident but chill — it’s not your wedding, mate.
Keep an eye on the ushers. They should be helping guests, not flirting with the bridesmaids (yet).
Smile for photos. You’ll be in a lot of them, so don’t look hungover.
If nerves kick in, just remember — you’re there to back your mate up. You’re part of the moment, not the centre of it.
After the Ceremony
Congrats — he’s done it!
But don’t relax just yet. The post-ceremony chaos is where a good best man earns his stripes.
Your jobs as best man after “I do” include:
Helping coordinate guests — getting them from ceremony to reception.
Ensuring the newlyweds get a drink and some food. Everyone will be congratulating them, but they’ll forget to eat.
Keeping the timeline moving. If photos or speeches run late, politely steer things along.
Being the point man for the photographer, DJ, or planner. You’re the go-between when decisions need to be made quickly.
Watching out for the groom’s stuff. Wallet, phone, jacket — basically, his entire life.
And yes — once all that’s sorted, then you can hit the bar.
Handling Nerves (Yours and His)
It’s completely normal to feel jittery — especially if you’re stressing about your speech. But here’s the trick: your job is to absorb the chaos, not add to it.
When the groom looks nervous, be calm. Crack a joke, make him laugh, or remind him how stunning his bride looks. The best best men are unflappable — even when the flower girl throws up on their shoes.
If you’re nervous yourself, keep perspective:
Everyone wants you to succeed. You’re not being judged; you’re being celebrated. People want to laugh with you — not at you.
Take deep breaths, stay hydrated, and maybe skip the double gin before your speech. (Trust me.)
Dealing with the Unexpected
Weddings are unpredictable beasts. Things will go wrong — someone’s late, the weather turns, a button pops, or the DJ plays the wrong song.
That’s life. Your secret weapon? Roll with it.
A true best man doesn’t panic. He improvises.
Lost the rings? (God forbid.) Pretend it’s a joke while someone sprints to get them.
Cake delayed? Lead a spontaneous toast.
Uncle Dave’s drunk before dinner? Escort him out for “fresh air” and a bottle of water.
Basically, you’re the wedding’s designated problem solver — with charm and banter as your main tools.
After the Speech – Time to Celebrate
Once you’ve nailed your speech (we’ll get to that in detail next chapter), your official best man duties start winding down.
At that point, your only job is to make sure the dance floor’s full and the groom doesn’t lose his jacket or dignity before midnight.
Grab a drink, hit the floor, and enjoy the fact that you’ve just pulled off one of the toughest gigs in friendship. You’ve managed logistics, calmed nerves, and held it all together with a smile.
That’s what being a best man is all about — not perfection, but loyalty, laughter, and a few legendary stories for later.
Chapter 4 – Mastering the Best Man Speech
Why the Speech Matters
If the stag do was your test of planning, the best man speech is your test of performance.
This is the moment everyone’s waiting for — the bride’s dad’s got his camera out, Aunt Linda’s dabbing her eyes already, and the groom’s praying you don’t mention Magaluf 2018.
It’s your chance to make people laugh, tug a few heartstrings, and show your mate what his friendship means to you. But let’s be honest — it’s also terrifying. Public speaking is the number one fear for most blokes, right after commitment and running out of beer.
Don’t worry. This Best Man Guide has your back.
We’ll cover how long your best man speech should be, what it should include, and how to end it with a bang (the good kind).
How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?
Let’s kill the biggest question first:
How long is a best man speech supposed to be?
The golden rule — keep it short, sharp, and hilarious.
The ideal length of a best man speech is around 5 to 7 minutes — long enough to tell a story, short enough to leave them wanting more. If you’re pushing 10 minutes, you’re losing them. If you’re done in under 3, you look unprepared.
Remember:
It’s a toast, not a TED Talk.
No one ever said, “I wish that best man speech was longer.”
If you can make them laugh and cry within five minutes — you’ve nailed it.
So, how long for a best man speech? About the same time it takes to drink a pint (slowly).
What a Best Man Speech Should Include
Here’s the structure every best man speech should follow — tried, tested, and guaranteed to work:
1. The Opening
Start strong. You’ve got 10 seconds to win the room.
Here are a few best man speech opening lines that always land:
“Good evening everyone — I’m [Name], and apparently I was the best man available.”
“I’m honoured to be here today… mostly because the groom owes me a lot of money.”
“For those of you who don’t know me — I’m [Name], and for those of you who do, I apologise.”
The goal? Break the ice, get the first laugh, and calm your nerves.
2. Introduce Yourself
Not everyone knows who you are. Keep it short:
“For those who don’t know me, I’m [Name], and I’ve had the questionable privilege of knowing [Groom] for [X years].”
That’s it. Move on before anyone zones out.
3. Talk About the Groom
This is where you tell stories — but choose wisely.
Go for funny, not filthy. Inside jokes are fine if they make sense to the audience, but steer clear of anything that’ll make the bride’s nan faint.
Ideas to include:
How you met.
His best (and worst) traits.
A funny story that shows who he really is.
Example:
“I first met [Groom] when we were both pretending to study at uni. Even then, he had the focus of a goldfish and the confidence of a man who once thought Lynx Africa counted as cologne.”
4. Talk About the Couple
Shift the focus to the bride and groom. This is where you earn brownie points.
Say something genuine and warm — even if banter’s more your style.
“Then [Bride] came along — and suddenly, [Groom] started ironing his shirts, eating vegetables, and using coasters. It’s been beautiful to watch.”
Keep it sincere but light. You’re not Shakespeare.
5. Offer Advice or Reflection
A line or two about marriage goes a long way:
“They say marriage is all about compromise. [Bride], you compromise by pretending to laugh at his jokes. [Groom], you compromise by pretending you told them first.”
Tips for a Great Best Man Speech
Now that you’ve got the structure, here’s how to deliver it like a pro:
Write it early. Don’t wing it. Start at least a few weeks before the wedding.
Read it out loud. Speeches sound different on paper than in your head.
Practice timing. Aim for 5–7 minutes. Use your phone timer.
Don’t drink too much before. One pint = confidence. Three pints = slurred chaos.
Use notes if needed. You’re not a politician, no one expects you to memorise it all.
Avoid private jokes. If only three people get it, it’s not funny — it’s awkward.
Pace yourself. Pause for laughter — don’t bulldoze through it.
Smile. If you look like you’re enjoying it, everyone else will too.
End with heart. The jokes get attention, but the heartfelt bit gets remembered.
How to End a Best Man Speech
The ending is where you bring it home. You’ve made them laugh — now make them feel something.
A classic formula is:
One heartfelt sentence about the couple.
A short, sincere toast.
Example Endings:
“So, here’s to love, laughter, and a lifetime of happiness for [Bride] and [Groom]. May your ups and downs be only between the sheets.”
or
“Let’s raise a glass to [Bride] and [Groom] — may your life together be full of laughter, adventure, and just enough patience to survive IKEA trips.”
Boom. End with a smile, raise your glass, and soak in the applause.
The Best Man Toast
This is the grand finale — your toast for the best man speech. Keep it short, snappy, and meaningful.
“To [Bride] and [Groom] — may your love be modern enough to survive the times, and old-fashioned enough to last forever.”
A good best man toast is like the encore at a concert — it leaves them wanting more.
Bonus: Handling the Speech Like a Legend
Cue cards over paper. Easier to manage, less rustling.
Look up often. Eye contact builds confidence.
Start slow. Your nerves will speed you up naturally.
Be yourself. You’re not performing Shakespeare; you’re talking about your mate.
Enjoy it. You’ll only get to do this once (hopefully).
In Case of Emergency: Funny Fallback Lines
If you lose your place, drop your notes, or your voice cracks — don’t panic.
Here are a few quick saves:
“Sorry, my handwriting’s terrible — I wrote this after the stag do.”
“This part was supposed to be funny. I’ll give you all a minute to laugh politely.”
“If you think this is bad, wait until the groom starts dancing.”
Humour always wins the crowd back.
Final Word
Your best man speech isn’t about perfection — it’s about connection.
Speak from the heart, don’t roast the groom too hard, and keep it classy (ish).
If people laugh, smile, and maybe shed a tear, you’ve done your job brilliantly.
Remember — this isn’t just your moment; it’s his.
So raise that glass, give the best man toast, and enjoy being the legend of the day.
Chapter 5 – Example Best Man Speech (Template + Sample)
So you’ve read the tips, memorised the rules, and timed your speech to perfection and now you just need to see how it all fits together.
Here’s a sample best man speech — short, sharp, funny, and heartfelt — followed by a quick breakdown of why it works.
Sample Best Man Speech
“Good evening everyone — for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Tom, and I’ve had the questionable honour of knowing our groom, Dave, for over fifteen years.
We first met at university, where Dave immediately impressed me with his dedication to studying… the pub quiz schedule. From that moment on, I knew we’d be lifelong mates — mostly because I’ve had to bail him out of so many situations that he legally owes me friendship for life.
Now, when Dave told me he’d met Emily, I knew she was special. Mostly because she managed to make him turn up on time, eat vegetables, and wear shirts that weren’t ‘ironic’. It’s been incredible to watch him evolve from the guy who thought toasties counted as fine dining into a man who can actually cook pasta and remember anniversaries.
Emily, you look absolutely stunning today, and Dave… well, you look like you can’t believe your luck — and rightly so.
I won’t keep you long, but I’ll end by saying this: marriage is all about patience, laughter, and teamwork. And if you ever forget that, just remember — Emily’s always right.
So, ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to the new Mr. and Mrs. Carter — may your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.”
Why This Works
Strong opening – Gets a laugh immediately and sets a relaxed tone.
Balanced humour – Funny but kind; never humiliates the groom.
Personal but universal – Inside jokes are explained, so everyone gets it.
Emotional close – The best man toast ties it all together with warmth and wit.
Perfect length – Around five minutes spoken aloud — right in the sweet spot.
Use this template as your base, swap the names and stories, and you’ll have a personalised speech that hits every note — humour, heart, and honesty.
Chapter 6 – Final Advice for the Modern Best Man
You’ve planned the stag do, survived the chaos, kept the rings safe, and smashed your speech — now take a breath, mate. You’ve done the job, and done it well.
Being a best man isn’t just about ticking off tasks or delivering a killer toast; it’s about being there for your friend when it matters most. It’s loyalty, laughter, and level-headedness rolled into one very sharp suit.
The truth is, no one expects perfection. The groom doesn’t want a professional wedding planner — he wants you: the guy who’s been there through the hangovers, heartbreaks, and inside jokes. That’s what makes your role special.
So, a few final tips for the modern best man:
Keep your humour kind. The best laughs come from love, not embarrassment.
Be prepared, but stay flexible. Weddings never go 100% to plan — just smile and roll with it.
Celebrate properly. This is one of the biggest days of your mate’s life — enjoy it!
Be proud of yourself. Not everyone gets trusted with this job. You’ve earned it.
And when the music fades, the speeches are done, and the groom’s dancing like a malfunctioning robot, remember this: you helped make it all happen. You turned nerves into laughter and plans into memories.
So raise one last glass — to the groom, the bride, and to you, the best man. You’ve done your duty, delivered your speech, and lived to tell the tale.
Planning a stag do abroad? Let STAG VIP make your Budapest weekend legendary.
Check our stag packages and free quote options.
Here’s to friendship, fun, and a lifetime of legendary stories. Cheers, mate. 🍻
Comments